I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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