party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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