And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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