i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
