i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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