Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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