what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
