she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
