My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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