So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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