Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Your face is a jimmy john
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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