porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
