today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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