You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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