i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
