Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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