Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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