Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize