Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
