I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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