I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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