Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED