we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How does one acquire holy water?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US