Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state

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  (847): Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state http://tfl.nu/3q3r
  Replies (58) Good night (1818) Bad night (482)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.

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  (407): He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat. http://tfl.nu/lz98
  Replies (12) Good night (3655) Bad night (925)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.

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  (903): her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top. http://tfl.nu/4up5
  Replies (132) Good night (799) Bad night (8533)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful

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  (410): We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful http://tfl.nu/jdk0
  Replies (19) Good night (3909) Bad night (1313)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.

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  (505): Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you. http://tfl.nu/lhr4
  Replies (11) Good night (876) Bad night (2718)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.

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  (902): FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk. http://tfl.nu/vuiq
  Replies (10) Good night (2914) Bad night (1291)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  I saved lives by not driving this morning

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  (904): way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy... (1-904): I saved lives by not driving this morning http://tfl.nu/no2s
  Replies (9) Good night (8009) Bad night (943)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration

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  (513): I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration http://tfl.nu/y2rq
  Replies (20) Good night (1695) Bad night (2548)
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  (818): View more from California

  I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project

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  (818): I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project http://tfl.nu/g4w5
  Replies (6) Good night (2636) Bad night (1198)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors

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  (928): proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors http://tfl.nu/6slk
  Replies (2) Good night (1637) Bad night (584)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night

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  (210): If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night http://tfl.nu/5uhb
  Replies (4) Good night (2137) Bad night (601)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.

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  (413): Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day. http://tfl.nu/6cqk
  Replies (17) Good night (2866) Bad night (707)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.

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  (724): No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology. http://tfl.nu/e8xh
  Replies (8) Good night (3881) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Hey, I'm your guy

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  (613): I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this. (647): Hey, I'm your guy http://tfl.nu/p6u8
  Replies (2) Good night (1063) Bad night (302)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work

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  (269): I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work http://tfl.nu/fkwe
  Replies (1) Good night (680) Bad night (292)

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