Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"

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  (313): Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!! (1-313): "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore" http://tfl.nu/6kn3
  Replies (20) Good night (768) Bad night (1505)
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  (760): View more from California

  i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them

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  (760): i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them http://tfl.nu/jlgr
  Replies (7) Good night (648) Bad night (1774)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.

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  (770): I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges. http://tfl.nu/kn7k
  Replies (51) Good night (1196) Bad night (4682)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.

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  (310): i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over. http://tfl.nu/nwsy
  Replies (40) Good night (16206) Bad night (2290)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign

  (562): View more from California

  You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo

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  (650): We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign (562): You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo http://tfl.nu/9pp5
  Replies (68) Good night (5742) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea

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  (636): Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea http://tfl.nu/qpng
  Replies (57) Good night (699) Bad night (10513)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.

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  (510): He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again. http://tfl.nu/1fxb
  Replies (27) Good night (1298) Bad night (7715)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.

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  (765): He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder. http://tfl.nu/7khc
  Replies (81) Good night (16982) Bad night (2867)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.

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  (207): Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you. http://tfl.nu/tfuz
  Replies (5) Good night (5317) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.

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  (612): Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/p3u3
  Replies (3) Good night (2678) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?

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  (817): did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER? http://tfl.nu/7lnp
  Replies (10) Good night (2112) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.

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  (773): Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys. http://tfl.nu/y8cg
  Replies (2) Good night (2209) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...

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  (914): Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much... http://tfl.nu/zii3
  Replies (1) Good night (742) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night

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  (973): Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night http://tfl.nu/x2gj
  Replies (6) Good night (692) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again

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  (415): so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again http://tfl.nu/s0gt
  Replies (7) Good night (766) Bad night (523)

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