Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it

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  (773): I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it http://tfl.nu/d3ej
  Replies (2) Good night (2059) Bad night (867)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Fine. I'll sleep in my office

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  (917): Fine. I'll sleep in my office http://tfl.nu/uxdr
  Replies (5) Good night (726) Bad night (1171)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.

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  (303): So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper. http://tfl.nu/p0yj
  Replies (34) Good night (888) Bad night (5765)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.

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  (615): He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat. http://tfl.nu/bfbd
  Replies (30) Good night (780) Bad night (4251)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.

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  (920): Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with. http://tfl.nu/j9qw
  Replies (22) Good night (5064) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."

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  (908): If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple." http://tfl.nu/0gie
  Replies (4) Good night (5284) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.

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  (630): He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table. http://tfl.nu/sm7d
  Replies (6) Good night (1107) Bad night (2047)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night

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  (214): The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night http://tfl.nu/8pzt
  Replies (12) Good night (4649) Bad night (812)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011

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  (816): why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011 http://tfl.nu/szze
  Replies (9) Good night (2344) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.

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  (409): There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won. http://tfl.nu/om0u
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (1593)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.

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  (410): I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part. http://tfl.nu/xejt
  Replies (5) Good night (1710) Bad night (804)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.

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  (517): Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned. http://tfl.nu/fz01
  Replies (5) Good night (1747) Bad night (748)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.

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  (902): Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp. http://tfl.nu/bjm3
  Replies (5) Good night (1617) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil

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  (507): I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil http://tfl.nu/ueg4
  Replies (7) Good night (903) Bad night (1642)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS

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  (724): SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS http://tfl.nu/2482
  Replies (5) Good night (769) Bad night (1010)

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