Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now

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  (603): I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now http://tfl.nu/6uxz
  Replies (21) Good night (4979) Bad night (576)
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  (415): View more from California

  The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?

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  (415): The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish? http://tfl.nu/s0dr
  Replies (10) Good night (830) Bad night (4078)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.

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  (518): I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday. http://tfl.nu/tx0i
  Replies (16) Good night (6267) Bad night (1065)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course

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  (720): At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course http://tfl.nu/67cn
  Replies (25) Good night (5116) Bad night (1043)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now

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  (412): My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now http://tfl.nu/563a
  Replies (12) Good night (1413) Bad night (4952)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.

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  (708): This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major. http://tfl.nu/bo8s
  Replies (10) Good night (3130) Bad night (882)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.

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  (352): Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american. http://tfl.nu/kvmq
  Replies (11) Good night (1814) Bad night (770)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment

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  (316): At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment http://tfl.nu/s8j6
  Replies (4) Good night (1340) Bad night (461)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.

  (210): View more from Texas

  my parents really loved me back then.

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  (210): I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed. (210): my parents really loved me back then. http://tfl.nu/7xue
  Replies (9) Good night (1337) Bad night (461)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick

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  (201): thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick http://tfl.nu/xnq8
  Replies (9) Good night (1153) Bad night (405)
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  (310): View more from California

  At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.

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  (310): At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping. http://tfl.nu/qkke
  Replies (7) Good night (764) Bad night (726)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.

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  (202): I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house. http://tfl.nu/n9mx
  Replies (7) Good night (1534) Bad night (314)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!

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  (416): What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time! http://tfl.nu/7efc
  Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (293)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me

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  (412): I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me http://tfl.nu/nb8z
  Replies (1) Good night (224) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  ...you should fill the cart some more

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  (518): Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it? (1-518): ...you should fill the cart some more http://tfl.nu/ls8l
  Replies (3) Good night (482) Bad night (225)

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