hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
