So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
