Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize