Do vagina's smell?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
