I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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