Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
