i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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