um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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