your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
