:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
A+ Viking dick
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
