you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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