Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
