If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
