i barfeds in our rink
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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