This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
