Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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