I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
