Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
