i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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