Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
