I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
