So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
