two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
