so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
