I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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