so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
