dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
