just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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