you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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