That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
