now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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