I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
