Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I am available for nakedness
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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