Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
