she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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