Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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