Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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