I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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