If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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