theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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