It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
