I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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