I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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