1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize